Life when you were 15...

I was an over achiever for a brief time in my teenage years. I knew what I was going to do where I wanted to go etc etc. I was NEVER going to get married or have kids, I was going to travel the world semi gypsy style after finishing my graphic arts BA then come back and work for Sactchi and Satchi as a creative ideas kinda girl.
So now at 27 Im married and an accounts clerk for a medical centre. Whats that about? What happened I ask myself! Well there was that falling in love thing. And after finishing a Dipoma in Fashion realising I was sick of being a poor student to finish the BA. But all very poor excuses really... I mean this is how people become cleaners or McDonalds staff, a couple of misplaced turns in your life journey and all of a sudden instead of partying all night an Spain Im in bed at 10 on a Friday night, Nigel no Friends.

The Black Plague of Modern woman

Admittedly this could be debated, but for me right now its laringitus... lossing your voice. Thank god for emails. But all these people who insist on calling me! Normally I wrapped to "talk" but I can't OK and it hurts if I do try for too long. And at the end of the day your not gonna be able to hear me properly anyway. My husband sways between thinking its hillarious and sympothy. Damn him been so cute and being able to get away with it.

DIRTY THIEVES

Dirty carni b@##*rds came into our garage through a back window the other day and stole stuff that could then be winzzened back through said window again! Low life scum. Stole a very cool tool kit and other garage stuff, you know things like paint brushes, that they could then hock off on the black market to fuel they're P habit. Did I mention I thought that the little homee scum can burn in their own karma when it comes back to bite them in the arse.

But the New Zealand Police have been swell, ever soo helpful! You know CSI, like that, they've come and finger printed and everything.... in my dreams. As yet they've been to busy with gang rapes and picking the new colour of their fleet of cars to even return our call.

Ahh good times! I knew I'd like this area, so tidy that anything thats not bolted down gets tidied away, probably by the neighbours two doors down, (read the new years blog re armed defenders)

So word up, yo yo mother ***kers, may you come back as a little flying bug that gets squished at 110 km/h on my windscreen. Peace out.

Saturdays are for shopping

Monday to Fridays were DESIGNED for working, Sunday for having a rest (cause it comes after Saturday) Saturday which of course was designed for shopping.
Shoe shopping of course out ranking the other kinds followed very closely of course by clothes and accessories. Then theres all the other kinds furniture, food, linen the list of course being endless all the way down to the hardest shopping "for someones Birthday". Unless they've been good enough to tell you what they want. You are stuck trolling the shops for hours to end up buying something, good or bad, which you dont get to keep!
Take this weekend I have baited myself with the thought of shoe shopping so I will be at the shops should I manage to find the balls to find a present for my 96 year old Poppa (Granda) Theres only so many years in a row where socks are a viable option.

Beauty is in the eye o the beholder

Firstly in no way am I gloatting. I dont think Im beatiful at all, not ugly just run of the mill... addmitedly with huge melons and blonde. But thats another story..
I have sailed through life pretty easily. Last time I was flighing down to ChCh and there was a HUGE que. I was about to wait in line like a normal person, and a attendant guy asked if he could check me in instead. SWEET. And I realised all the times stuff like that happens.
Ok maybe I am gloating. Silly boys think Im cute, without me even trying. Imagine the poor attendant boy if Id been wearing my knee high sillettos and tartan school girl skirt.

Keeping up with Jones

We live boarding one of the dodger areas in town, But in our street the houses are simple but all kept nicely and the lawns mowed etc. People with young families and little old ladies, and us. This morning The Man and I were awoken early to the armed defenders squad... 2 doors down. The whole "Come out with your hands up, this IS the POLICE. We have the house surrounded" Nine yards. No Im not joking (it wouldnt be funny anyway, why do people say that? If I was joking I'd say 2 men walked into a bar..) Ahh, how am I surposed to keep up with the Jones?!

Good idea at the time

So firstly to catch up with the week
Deb, my cousin got engaged
I was crook Saturday
Work Monday to Friday.

Sunday... I thought it would be a good idea to rip up the hallway carpet. Well it was old and we have Matai floor boards just waiting to be discovered. What an hour or so and bobs ya uncle...
Well lets say it'll be a work in progress, and that I learnt back in the day they used to glue carpet down with tar. Honest. Tar. Who would have thought. Tar. Huh!

NOAHS ARK

Noah's Ark .... Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark.
ONE : Don't miss the boat.
TWO : Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR : Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. FIVE : Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX : Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN : For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT : Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs
NINE : When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN : Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

Care of My Auntie Jenni

JUMP ROPE BRAINWASHING

Im 27, married and we bought a house last year. All good, we both work and pay the bills each month. But due to the brainwashing of jump rope (circa age 6) And I quote " First comes love then comes marriage, then dear readers comes the baby in a baby carriage" This has lead to a bi-polar version of my former self. One happy enough with the statis quo, the other desperate to spawn mini MrMans.... more to come Im sure.

Mysterys of life

How is it that the combination of baked beans and a white top is always going to end with an artistic long drip of sauce down your front.

My great PORN STAR NAME

Pepper Adams
(First pets name, Street you lived on at the time..... for those of you living in a cave for the last centry)

Home Alone

Firstly let me explain that the man and I are always together, we work in the same base, he drops me off at work. Then picks me up again we go home together. We go out together. Which is fine. So when he goes away its an event (such as tonight) that he's away. The house ALL to MYSELF! How exciting, I can watch porn or jump up and down naked not caring which bits wobble unmersifully. So excited, as Im sure you can imagine at the possabilities. I get home this evening.... And what do I do? Put on my oldest yoga pants (the black ones so old the knees have knees even when Im not in them) Sit on my lazy-boy, turn on T.V and pick my nose. I guess all that excitment made me tired. Perhaps a cup of tea and a lye down?...
I was watching a movie(...Rumour has it) and there is a bit and they say, life shouldn't just be a string of Thursdays otherwise what is there to look foward to. I think this is where my life is heading one half lived day after the other.

Nanna Sports

I have recently discovered marjong. Yes I know a true Nanna sport, right up there with other Nanna sports such as crochet, knitting, crosswords and croquet. My Nanna has the marjong gang, 3 other white headed ladied and herself who could play an afternnon away. But then I have a lot to get through to aspire to be as great as my Nanna. I dont have a gang yet, mine is the online version, but DANG I love it. Those naughty little tiles won't get me this time...

SIDE DIALOGE: NANNA, my Nanna's almost a cartoon Nanna round and hugable and wears an apron when she bakes. Shes like a whole grail of "Nannaness".

Lost at Ezibuy

So why the man never wants me to dye my hair red again...
I dyed my hair red (which I quiet liked) and a few days later Man and I went shopping which included a trip to the spacious interior of Palmerston North Ezibuy, I duely wandered off shopping as I went. And the Man in the swathes of clothes got disorientated and had to find me so that we could leave. Hence without a breadcrumb to leave a trail he set off to find me in the forrest of jumpers, looking for the blonde he once knew.... Poor thing took some time to find me at some jeans a good half hour later.

Uber Cool Friends

Im so the last person to to learn uber cool- geek toys, like blogs. My most excellent friend sent me her blog page link and I got so excited I had to start NOW.
So today was Mans birthday, hes now 28, I teased him mersily this morning for being so old. Then went and spent 1.5hrs at the hair dressers. Why do woman do these things to ourselves? At least it looks pretty for the other girls now as I guess whos that for. Considering Man doesnt care as long as I dont dye it red again.